Ich konnte die zwei Frauen tuscheln hören, aber verstand kein Wort. Mutti wand sich wieder an mich. „OK, so soll es dann sein. Ich will, dass du deine Mahlzeit beendest. Du hast genau 5 Minuten Zeit, ansonsten beginnt Renate ihren Rohrstock auf deinem Arsch tanzen zu lassen. Die Zeit läuft ab jetzt.“Ich hatte mich redlich bemüht und würgte alles herunter. Es war immer noch viel und es hatte sich schon eine feste Kruste gebildet und diese musste ich erst richtig durchkauen. Auch war der Gestank deutlich schlimmer geworden. Mehrmals konnte ich mich nur mit Mühe vom Kotzen zurückhalten, allein der Gedanke als Sklave zu funktionieren und meine Mutter so glücklich zu machen ließ mich durchhalten. Als die Tür wieder aufging war ich gerade dabei, die Keramik ab zu lecken. „Puh, hier stinkt es aber deftig“ hörte ich Frau Borg. Sie öffnete das Fenster und kam kontrollieren. „Oh Überraschung, das kleine Ferkel kann doch gehorchen, ich bin wirklich beeindruckt und das sollte auch belohnt. I delete and block him from my chat program.*****Losing Patrick like this has been difficult. I'm so used to having him to talk to that not having him there is a huge hole in my day.I'd be flat-out lying if I didn't acknowledge that the funk I've been in for the past month isn't, in large part, due to this relationship ending. I know I've been mourning the loss of him; I feel the loss to my core.He knew me. He knew my thoughts, my quirks, my body... sometimes better than I did. He has been my best friend, he's made my days bearable, filled in what my husband is unwilling to give me. Going even two days without talking to him was rare. Cutting him off is the hardest thing I've had to do in a long time. I miss him a lot. Really, really a lot. I fight the idea of making contact every single day.And the kicker is that I can't say for sure that I would refuse him if he came back yet again. If his marriage ended and he was free to start a relationship, I might say yes. I might rearrange my.
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